Be Happy

the hardest thing

All I want is for you to be truly happy,

that’s what I told you,

and that’s how I will always feel,

you are happy now,

So I am happy,

happy that you are happy,

I have realized that it is selfish of me to want you back,

because it seems that I would be the only truly happy one then,

and yes there will always be a part of me that will cry,

cry about what happened with us,

but now I am just happy to see you so happy,

the one thing that would always make me happy,

was just seeing your huge smile,

To talk to you over the phone when you were smiling was the best,

Yes I could tell when it was a fake smile,

but when it was a real smile,

it always made me want to melt,

and of course I would always smile back,

because I couldn’t help it,

I will always remember and cherish all the memories I have of us,

every single one,

but most of all,

I will always want the very best for you,

and I always want to see you happy,

Truly happy,

I will be big enough for both of us,

and say,

Be Happy 🙂 ❤

1-1-2015 ?

8 months and counting?

The best girl a guy could ever ask for?

Taking your princess out?

You would think that I would have moved on by now,

I mean it’s only been 8 1/2 MONTHS!

Why didn’t we make it that far?

Just think,

8 months of heaven,

taking me out,

You and I going fishing on Labor day,

but we only made it through 2 months,

the two most busy months of our High School years,

and we didn’t make it,

You were stressed over Football,

I was stretched to thin with Volleyball,

it all started exactly a year ago,

why haven’t I gotten over all these feelings yet?

I haven’t even met her yet,

I can barely get you to text me back anymore,

and worst of all,

a girl on my team reminds me of your sister,

I know I shouldn’t,

But I swear I think about you, at least once a day,

and when I do,

I always remember that time,

like 3 months ago,

we were texting,

and just talking about our past together,

and you told me,

that you regretted never kissing me,

I feel so guilty,

and I don’t know what for,

this is torture,

when we broke up,

my heart broke up,

and I have tried to put it back together,

but I always end up like this,

crying,

sad,

mad at myself,

and thinking abut you,

way. to. much.

31 Random Facts About Me #23

Random Fact #23: I love writing Poetry. Here is my most resent one, finished a few days ago. Feel free to give me any and all feedback you have 🙂 Oh and if you have any ideas on a good name for it, please let me know, cuz I still have yet to name this one, and honestly I’m stuck. FYI I wrote the first few lines a few months ago, so they are not that accurate.

 

One year and 47 days,

exactly,

Going on Forever,

it seems,

The long times seem longer,

and the short times shorter,

Still it could have been last night,

Now we’re older,

goofy-er,

and taller,

You’ve moved on with life,

I seem to be stuck in a time bubble,

Stuck in something that ended,

Five months ago,

We still talk,

About life,

as it goes by,

today,

everyday,

But my brain is still stuck in the past,

I tell myself it’s time to let go,

But moving on seems impossible,

I still hear you talking,

over the phone,

at 2 am,

that voice that makes me feel like everything will always gonna be alright,

It replays in my head,

everything that ever happened,

I wish I could make you come back,

I would do anything,

But you’re just beyond reach,

Just out of sight

 

 

Tea Cup Day Dreams

My cup of tea,

is like a mirror,

looking back at me,

I look down,

and I see cloud nine above my head,

I see the world turning blood red,

My life I see as a corkscrew,

I’ve gone up some,

Or plummeted into deep blue,

Things I’ve done,

Places I’ve been,

Battles lost and some of them won,

My face shines like the sun,

in my tea cup reflection,

in it I see my heart burdened with affection,

I lift my head and look into a new cup,

This one a lighter shade in color,

In this tea,

I see the blue sky over head,

no world turning blood red,

I see my face just as always,

the shining face it did replace,

My life’s reflection in tea,

I no longer see,

Just silly old, regular, boring me

~ Sunshine Tucker 2-10-2015

Crazy – Free Verse Poem

Love, an Addiction, that is just that, addicitve

Lying right here every night,

Wishing I could sleep for once,

I close my eyes and see your smile,

Like you’re there in front of me,

Why is my memory so good?

For once I wish it weren’t,

Because every time I stop to think,

I remember something else about you,

Why am I obsessed with you?

Do you think of me this much?

I’m not just saying this,

I can really picture your face,

All the time,

Your smile when we’re texting,

It’s crazy,

I’m crazy,

I know that much,

Oh it’s nothing,

Just me,

Yup,

That must be it,

I’m not surprised,

I’m just crazy,

About you   ❤

Obsessed – Freeverse Poem

Every corner I turn,

I swear I can see your shadow,

Waiting to sneak up on me,

That sound,

That voice,

It sounds just like you,

There’s nothing I do,

That doesn’t remind me of you,

I can’t even think straight,

It’s driving me nuts,

You’ve taken over my brain,

Like a virus,

No way to sleep,

No way to focus,

Can’t you see that it’s driving me crazy,

‘Cuz I can’t get you out of my mind,

It’s impossible,

That song,

It’s so you,

It’s game day,

I hope you’re out there winning,

While I sit here obsessing,

I swear I could hear your voice,

Say my name the other night,

“Gosh, jeez Sunny”,

I don’t want to forget you,

Not that I think I ever will be able to,

You’re the only thing holding me down,

Keeping me straight,

My life line,

The one keeping me from going down stream to fast,

The one and only obsession that I can live with

 ~ Sunshine

September 23, 2014

Why I try ? – Freeverse Poem

Why do I try anymore?

This is all so crazy,

I feel like I’m just wearing myself out,

Just to let myself down,

Again,

Why?

That’s all I can say,

You used to make me feel fearless,

Like someday this would all go away,

But this isn’t Cinderella,

This ain’t no fairy tale,

And only some of my dreams come true,

‘Cuz the nightmares are dreams too,

I can’t sleep,

Just laying there,

Thinking about you,

Nothing is changing,

I’ll be stuck with this reality forever,

‘Cuz I’m only second thought,

I’m just your second best friend,

You text me when there’s nobody else to text,

You just laugh,

Act like we can joke it off,

But this is the reality,

And I can only hurt more,

It can’t get any worse than this,

It’s all downhill from here,

We will never be the same,

Ever again,

You have changed,

You just don’t know it,

But I can see it all,

And it scares me,

To not see what I saw before.

~ Sunshine

September 15th, 2014