Goodbye

Goodbye possum, the dog that would always barks when we drove down our old street,

Goodbye to the playground, at Clark park who has seen it all

To all the trees in our spacious yard, who if they could talk, would be able to tell so many stories,

Goodbye to the train track, less than a mile from our house, whose trains never wake me up, but I always hear them if I am awake

Goodbye Blanding Blvd, the street I have seen almost every hour of the day, from 4 am, to high noon,

Goodbye Orange Park High, the school I wanted to be allowed to attend someday, and the school that I saw my Best Friend for Life Samuel W. Cook #68 of the CHS Tigers play in a football game, for my first time,

Goodbye to Cynthia and all the clerks at the post office, who I used to pick the wild marigolds for,

Goodbye to all of Fleming Island, where all my favorite houses are,

Goodbye to the Saddle Club, I’m going to miss hearing your announcer announcing the scores for all the horse racers and just being able to walk a few blocks from my house and watch the horses race,

The one place I have always wanted to take a boyfriend of mine to just hangout on a date someday,

Goodbye to all my friends around town, who I haven’t seen in forever, who I have dreamt of running into in WalMart sometime,

To all my Dad’s ex students, from all the schools that he has substituted at, and from his many classes at  Wilkinson Jr. High, who we are always running into, y’all are so much fun to meet

Goodbye to all the back roads I have ridden down, around here, bumpy, muddy, and twisty as can be,

Goodbye to Pongo, our faithful family dog, who we had for 10 years, and has seen it all, where ever you are now, goodbye

Goodbye to all my team mates from playing volleyball at the YMCA, Most of y’all were so much fun to play with, y’all are great girls, I hope you all make it far in volleyball as I know you all wanted to.

 

House Hunting and my current heartbreak

We have been house hunting now, for a few weeks. It’s the normal, you know “Oh wow I like that that house” “Sorry to far out of our price range” or “Wow here’s a house we can afford!” “Not enough bedrooms, and we don’t want a condo” . . . . . . .and that is how it goes most of the time. Either the house is too good to be true, because it is, or it is just a little too perfectly out of reach.

We were set on one house, that unfortunately, got rented out from under us. At least that’s how we feel about to it. We were so set on it, and than we were about half of the 3 hour drive down to it, so all of us children could see it, when we called the owner to make sure he remembered we were coming, only to be told that that house has been rented already. Literally we were like an hour from the house, about 2 or so hours into the trip from our current abode, when this happened. We had to turn right around and head home. We had a few very upset people in the car that day.

Not only were we like most of the way down there, we were also mentally and emotionally there. We had already discussed sleeping arrangements and what we were going to be about furniture and all that stuff. And to seal that deal, we had stopped looking for houses after that.

So we have to move on.

Yesterday we signed all the necessary documents, for the closing on this house. We are officially no longer the owners of this house, and property! It’s both bittersweet and overly joyful for me. I am going to miss being here in Orange Park, so much. I will miss, all of my friends here, every single one, y’all know who you are, and I will miss you all so much, I will NEVER forget y’all, and Thank you for being the amazing friends you will always be to me. I will miss the country, layed back vibe, and mood, the close small town, yet still suburban feel, all the things that make Orange Park, home to my very soul. I swear I could drive around O.P. completely blind and still get exactly where I want to go. Don’t worry Orange Park, you will always have a piece of my heart here and I promise I won’t be gone for long. I am planning on coming back here, as soon as I turn 18. Trust me, my Orange Park, that 2 years isn’t very long, I will be back! 🙂

Having lived here in Orange Park, for a significant amount part of my life and at a significant time in my life, Orange Park has become a part of me. I have become a country girl, living here. I have grown up here, and have embraced a lot of the, I guess you could say culture around here. I dress like a country girl for the most part. Here you aren’t a “cool girl” unless you wear boots, a t-shirt, Miss Me jeans, and a baseball cap with a shiny fish hook on the bill, to the grocery store. Sure we country girls can and do sometimes do EVERYTHING in a skirt, but when we are just wanting to show off in Wal-Mart a little bit, that ^ is what we wear.

Much to the dismay of my Mom, I have picked a little bit of the accent from around here, and though I can turn it off, I can still pull of the southern accent pretty well without it sounding too forced. I have become an avid fan and follower of country music and country music artists. I don’t hang out with really preppy, prissy or city girls around here, so I don’t have much in common with those types of girls. I have been to the mall enough times to count on one hand, seriously, around here the girls don’t really hang out at the mall, you will find more girls hanging out at the high school football and volleyball games, or at the local Saddle club (my personal fav place to hang with my friends) than you will at the mall looking through racks of clothes. I mean to be honest, I would rather take a bunch of my friends out with a few four wheelers and dirt bikes, out to the nearest woods and go trail riding through the woods, then go hang out at the movies ANY DAY!

Here for the past almost 10 years, whenever I want, I have been able to go out into the yard, barefoot. Feel the cold dirt on my feet and between my toes. When it rains, I go out and feel the wet muddy-ish dirt on my feet. When I really just need to release a little bit of tension and stress, I just go outside barefooted and walk through the woods behind our house, and sing a little, it’s the best tension reliever. I have had the privilege, here to be able to have plenty of room to roam, here on our 2 acres, and not be trapped by endless pavement as far as the eye can see, or any houses right on top of us.

For the past few years, I have been sort of finding myself. Discovering who I am, and who I want to be as a person. Establishing my own style. I am not a cookie cutter Curtis (my Dad) or a carbon copy of Lupita (my Mom). I am really not even a perfect combination of both my Mom and Dad. I am Carolina Sunshine. I have my own opinions and  views of life. I am my own person, doing the things I like, and pursuing my dreams. And in all of this I have realized that as much as I kind of hate to say it, Orange Park, has become a big part of me and my personality.

Like I was telling my parents yesterday, at this point in my life, granted I do not claim to know a lot of anything, but I have reached a point, where I dress, talk, act, like, do, the things I want, hang out with the kinds of friends I want, and listen the kind of music I want, and I really, aside from my parents, I don’t really care what other people think of my, or judge me as, just by looking at me. People can judge me by my cover all they want, but it won’t change who I am, it won’t change my view of things, it won’t make me feel worth more, or worthless, this is who I am and this is all you get. I am nobody that I am not. With only one exception, maybe, I am not going to start acting like you or doing the things you do, just so you will like me.

On the brighter side. . . . . . .

I hope that by moving I will be able to make even more friends, that will always be there for me. I hope that where we move I will be able to further my dream of getting a volleyball scholarship to college. I hope that I will become a better person, than I am now, because no matter what I do, and where I go, I am never going to be the best that I can be. I will always strive to be a better daughter, sister, friend, and trust me, I have a LONG way to go.

This year will be so big for me. I will be turning 16 in exactly 1 month and 6 days. I will be dual enrolling at the local community college this summer. I hope to get on a High School volleyball team this August. And yes of course we are now moving. I hopefully am maturing, mentally.

Well enough with the rambling, just had to let out a few feeling that I am feeling right now.

Oh by the way, Next Saturday, I will be running a 5k. I am pretty excited, because I really enjoy running, and it is good exercise. I will be training all this week, so I will be pretty busy.

I hope y’all have a really fun and awesome weekend!

Peace,

~Sunshine 😛 ❤